What matter most to me where do I belong in the midst of time?

When the laziness begins it embark into self-cultivation of just not wanting to do anything that might complicate the minds. Sitting and blasting whatever music that sounds music to my ears how life can be so fucking complicated. Oh well life just a plain of nothingness but creation of own for now I am lazy. Yes at times I prefer laying myself with a cup of coffee to ease myself and blast whatever that sound music to me. A moment for myself, when I am alone my vision can be more accurately clear thus that is how I manage to express it in words.  Of course whatever that was written cannot come into perfect absolute answer but the point is having the reason to question. Mostly people like to follow the crowd blinded from what they really want. Is it justified? We are merely attachment of all that’s come by in our life. Each has purpose and responsibilities regardless because of agenda. Life is a dramatic lesson. What is your purpose here? That’s only you yourself can configure the answer.

How I may envy some people, living life as such with tremendous things but then the envies does not put me down because what I believe all are predestined. My colors of life is what I as an artist what to color it. Do I want to paint just merely rainbow? Nope I prefer complexity. No words can describe it only to be feeling by others differently. Every artist has their own complexity. I do not believed living by others as such my course of action or attitude makes me into a snobbish person. At times I have a problem knowing something before it happen thus my action becomes a taboo to others. I do not like to think in a big crowd. Honestly it makes me sick. Yes my words are harsh but I am not arrogant. I am not a saint or a religious person. I am still learning. That’s basically the reason why I do not want to continue my studies years ago. Not because education is not important but I believed in practicality and self-cultivate for creativeness. A person does not just educate themselves to be a student only but must embark themselves whatever that he or she learn and use it in life. It could be his or her career, relationship or whatever in life. The point is your life must be live upon your intention with creativity. Do you? But no person able to accomplished all. I am still seeking myself what I am best at.

The journey of life, how you struggle, how you falls ampler times, how to crawl up and whatever challenges you may takes believe me no person will know your suffering. They may know it but the pain you when into no person know it. The reality of life only selective few humble friends that come-by knowing, understand and except your situation; not allowing you to lose your focus. Each and every entity has distinguish own struggles. The different between winning and losing is in life how you can accept and move forward. Winning is not everything in life. What you achieve and what you can give to yourself and others that is winning. For every purpose you make must show at least the result.

Therefore I am trying not because I want to be known but I am trying for myself. If my action gives a good result I don’t mind shares a bit of my sweat. The emotion when a person gladly accepts what was given by me to my humble opinion an amazing feeling, Alhamdulillah. But then human mostly like to assume. Your action may come-by for what they may think correct as an agenda and question your purpose. Others may tries to take advantage of your kindness. The reality of life, if you really kind you just don’t care although you may feel the pinch of salt. Ignore; not losing focus and move forward. That is a part of success. What matter most to me where do I belong in the midst of time?