Locked Inside

The darkness within
it threatens to claw its way out
tear me apart on its way
destroy its host

I see the demon inside
I feel its evil
taste its hate
experience its fantasies

I do all I can to hide it
hide it from the ones I love
hide it from the ones I hate
hide it from everyone

But it's not enough anymore
it's becoming harder
harder to suppress what's inside
to keep it under control

Some would call me crazy
some would call me paranoid
I call myself a prison
and what's locked inside...

Should never be allowed to escape.

Kaysen Fraker 

The IED and DID characteristics which have lead me to meet and known what life is all about. For now IED have been frozen to sleep. Therefore don't get confused between my personality & my attitude. My personality is who I am; my attitude depends on who you are.

Hujan Di Pagi Ini

By Masrulhakim Bin Amin on Wednesday, May 16, 2012 at 3:56am

Hujan di pagi ini

Membasah bumi gersang

Terlenanya ramai manusia

Aku dan juga kamu

Terdengar petir berdentum

Itulah gelora hati

Hujan di pagi ini

Kala rasa tercipta resah

Gelisah gelisah gelisah

Berjalan berlari berhenti

Namun masih di sini lagi

Terbisiknya suara hati

Hujan di pagi ini

It is never about you or me !!

By Masrulhakim Bin Amin on Wednesday, June 6, 2012 at 11:56pm


Osho Quotes on Love and Trust:

1. Trust is certainly a higher value than love. In trust, love is implied; but in love, trust is not implied. When you say, “I trust in you, Osho” it is understood that you love. But when you say you love, trust has nothing to do with it. In fact your love is very suspicious, very intrusting, very much afraid, always on guard, watching the person you love. Lovers become almost detectives. They are spying on each other. Love is beautiful if it comes as a part of trust. And it always comes as a part of trust, because trust cannot be without love. But love cannot be without trust, and a love without trust is ugly; deep down it has all kinds of jealousies, suspicions, distrust.
2. If there is no trust, separate — the sooner, the better — so you are not destroyed, so you are not damaged, so your capacity to love remains fresh and you can love somebody else. This is not the place, this is not the man, this is not the woman for you. Move, but don’t destroy each other. Life is very short and capacities are very delicate. They can be destroyed, and once damaged there is no possibility of repairing them.
3. You cannot trust, because trust means losing your controlling to somebody else’s hands. You cannot surrender, you cannot love, you cannot pray. Even people making love cannot surrender; they go on controlling deep down. Hence, the real peak is missed. They learn techniques of how to make love. They can become very efficient love makers, but love is missed — because it has nothing to do with you. Love happens only when you are not there. Love happens only when you are surrendered to existence. Then there is a great orgasmic experience. Then you reach to the very peak.
4. Let this be the key for you, that love has to be lived each moment as totally as possible. It is not a question of relationship; it is a question of bringing a certain quality to your being — the quality of friendliness, the quality of compassion towards all that is, the quality of trust for all that is. The man of love is the man of trust, and the man of trust is the man of truth.

A destination set upon the living from childhood to adult. How times past that fast and it seem just like yesterday. Countless efforts of multi trials set a pattern in which mark a note as a living. There is no such thing as one trial efforts put up to be completed. Life is a drifter born a loser. Nothing is total absolute. Living as an entity bound to attach by all osmotic emotional content. But I have learn something, never let’s others opinion bother you because they are not in your shoes. Never be too overdose by all that seem and like because the truth is outside of all fixed patterns. Never allow yourself to be indulging in the usual manipulating game of role creation. You must make the CHOICE to take the CHANCE if you want anything to CHANGE. But everything own has already written in our faith. Not all goal aim to be a success; at least you have something to aim at in life.

The way I look at it is far beyond what I really seek. Nothings come perfect and to me perfection is subjective. But then again to me what matter most where I stand in the midst of time. For every written expression that I wrote for me to look at from times to time a chapter of my own. Life is more than just expressing but to live and not letting to lose the faith. Life a drifter has born a loser of which we don’t just live through every success but failure most of the times. How one feel and compromise to every single attempt is about choice to make for chance in which trying to change for the better or merrier.

Why I am this way is because I am the way I am and I am not a duplicate or a photocopy of someone else.

 It's not about I hold your hands and you hold mine. It's about I have half of your heart and you have half of mine. Therefore once broken scar remain FOREVER. The heart become HALF !!!